Selfish Suicide
by G.O.D-Goddessofdeath
Summary: What is the most selfish suicide? If you live, you'll never be trusted again. If you die, who are you leaving behind? What happens to Zidane when he trys to leave........
1. Tried so hard

Hiya!  
  
Discalimer;I don't own Final Fantsy (well, technicly I own a game of it, but I do not own the charcters .)  
  
Pairings;Zidane and Dagger  
  
Warnings;Suicide, Injured-Zidane  
  
`So it has come to this,'thought Zidane Tribal, as he gazed down from the 100 store car park roof.  
  
He deiced in the castle this morning. He would jump. It wasn't that far up, so he wouldn't have long to think about what he was leaving, or to change his mind.  
  
He had written a note to the Queen Dagger. He had told nobody.  
  
Now he swung his legs freely. He was sitting on the edge, peering down. No crowd had gathered. Good. He didn't want any crowds just in case somebody got hurt.  
  
`No. Best limit casualties to just myself.'  
  
He wasn't sorry for what he was going to do. He'd had a good life, and plenty of pain with it. Now it would stop.  
  
He didn't know why he wanted to jump. Maybe it was the only way to cleanse his sole. He'd killed so much, in just seventeen years............................  
  
****************AT THE CASTLE*******************  
  
`Oh my,'said the rat-like figure of Freya. She had discoved Zidane's note.  
  
She walked quietly to the dinning room where she had just excused herself from. In there was;Dagger, Steiner, Eiko, Quina, Amarent and Vivi.  
  
She gave the note to Dagger. Dagger read it silently, moaned, and then read it out loud.  
  
Dear Dagger and all my friends who have battled with me,  
  
What is the meaning of life,  
  
if not to stand and play?  
  
I have deiced to............well, let's just say, die. I am going to commit suicide today. I will jump off the 100 story car park, but this time, I won't bounce back up again. I'm sorry. I myself am not sure of what bought this on, but I am certain it was not you. Maybe it's because I killed so many things and people, or maybe it is because I am inhuman. Whatever the reason, this is destiny, fate, no way can we shape or change it. By the time you'd read this, I'll already be dead. Thank you for making my life so worth living,  
  
but I have seen a lot of Death. In fact, too much. It makes me want to stop being so positive and just stop, but since the world will not slow, I will have to stop my life.  
  
Gomen, and, for Dagger, ai shiteru kokoro kara.  
  
The meaning of life, friend,  
  
is to stop and die.  
  
Yours sincerely  
  
Zidane Tribal,  
  
A.K.A The most honest thief that ever lived, and also the most modest one.  
  
`Ohmigod..............' squeaked Eiko.  
  
`But........h....he......doesn'....ttt......have to...........s..........sssssss..........ssstop yet,' quivered Vivi.  
  
`Not true.............'hissed Steiner  
  
`.....................' said Amarent (Note;Just think.............Trowa Barton!)  
  
`I no show him num-nums.......' wailed Quina.  
  
Freya and Dagger did not say anything, one having already read the surprising letter in her head before re-entering the room, and the other being to shocked that her lover would want to do such a thing.  
  
Dagger got up from the table. She looked at them all with tears in her beautiful eyes, and ran from the room.  
  
`Princess! Princess, come back, please! If we go now we can stop him!' yelled Steiner at her retreating back.  
  
But the Princess had gone to her resort on the roof of the castle. She started singing her and Zidane's special song.  
  
See the bird,  
  
in the sky.  
  
Watch it fly though the clouds,  
  
and shadows.  
  
Watch as is it swoops,  
  
and darts.  
  
Hailing to the sun god,  
  
who created it.  
  
This song bought tears to her eyes anyway, because it reminded her of her mother, and all the summoners. But when it's sung for one so close, and so lovable, well....................  
  
Meanwhile, Steiner and Amarant had gone to the car park, hoping to stop him. They saw his legs, and shouted up to him;  
  
`Mister Zidane, don't do it!'  
  
`Come on Zidane, you bet me, you're not weak enough to jump!' (Note;Think Wufei with `you are too weak!')  
  
`I'm so sorry................but the time is now' murmured Zidane, not meaning anybody to hear it, but it got caught on the wind, and Steiner and Amarant heard it.  
  
Then he fell, as if pushed, his tail behind him, eyes tightly shut and hair blowing freely, looking quite peaceful.  
  
He landed on the concrete ground with a sicking thump, with several cracks, as most of his bones broke.  
  
Amarant muttered something to the Knight, and he nodded, weakly. A crowd was starting to gather, and the thief was still alive. Barely. His chest was slowly rising and falling, and the expression on his face showed that he had felt little pain, and really wanted to die.  
  
Amarant made his way though the crowd, which wasn't hard, because he was so tall, and armed. Steiner meekly followed behind.  
  
When the reached the small body, Amarant stood in front of it, blocking it from peeping eyes. Steiner kneeled down beside it, and tried to wake Zidane up.  
  
`Zidane................c'mon...........please! The Princess is already grieving and pining for you, but you aren't dead, yet. C'mon!'  
  
`I can't wake him up, Amarant! We'll have to take him back to the palace infirmary, and Doctor Tot can have a look, and if it's too serious he can go to hospital!'  
  
Zidane felt himself fall, and felt himself hit the ground, but it made him smile. Soon he would be out of pain. Suffering a little isn't gonna hurt.  
  
See the bird,  
  
in the sky.  
  
Watch it fly though the clouds,  
  
and shadows.  
  
Watch as is it swoops,  
  
and darts.  
  
Hailing to the sun god,  
  
who created  
  
In the darkness, Zidane saw a dove with a flower in it's beak flutter down from the blackness surrounding him. The pain came back, burning.  
  
`I'm not dead....................Damn..........'  
  
********************AT THE PALACE******************  
  
`Will he be ok, doc?' asked Eiko.  
  
Doctor Tot took off his glasses and began cleaning them.  
  
`Well, will he?'  
  
Dotor Tot cleared his throat.  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Uh oh, this don't look good...............what is Doc. Tot gonna say? How will it effect them all? Find out next time on 'Selfish Suicide!' 


	2. I'm so sorry..............

Hiya!  
  
Discalimer;I don't own Final Fantsy (well, technicly I own a game of it, but I do not own the charcters .)  
  
Pairings;Zidane and Dagger  
  
Warnings;Suicide, Injured-Zidane  
  
I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!  
  
Doctor Tot cleared his throat.  
  
`Now, I have good news and bad news. I will tell you the good news first. He will live, just.'  
  
The tension lifted a bit from the room. Eiko hugged Vivi, tears in her large blue(?) eyes, Steiner high-fived Amarant and Freya and Quina looked joyfully. Dagger, though, was still on the roof, but she knew he was alive.  
  
Author; I'm so very sorry about this next bit........so sorry!  
  
`But, of course, there is bad news. (Sorry) Zidane.....(very, very).....he may be paralyzed from the waist down. For..... the rest of his life........'  
  
Author; Wah! I'm so sorry! I didn't want to do it either, but no choice I had!  
  
All eyes in the room grow wide, and mouths dropped in shock. Eiko hugged Vivi, tears in their eyes, just about to break down totally, Steiner put down his arms, slipping out of the joyful pose, Amarant shook his head and Freya and Quina looked quite sad. Dagger, though, was still on the roof, and, though she knew he was alive, she did not know he was paralyzed.  
  
Somebody had to go and tell her. Who will it be?  
  
I am soooooooooooo sorry for this sad little chapter. I didn't want to do it, but what can you do? R&R and if I get enough good reveiws, I'll make a happy ending! ^_^ 


	3. Holy Matromone

Hiya!  
  
Discalimer;I don't own Final Fantsy (well, technicly I own a game of it, but I do not own the charcters .)  
  
Pairings;Zidane and Dagger  
  
Warnings;Suicide, Injured-Zidane, PG-13  
  
'I'll go, for I have known the Princess longer then any of you have!' annonced Steiner.  
  
'I think I should,' said Eiko, 'I love Zidane too, and I can really symperthise.'  
  
A cry came outta the room where the paraylzed Zidane was. The party rushed in.  
  
'Master Zidane, what's that matter?' yelled Steiner.  
  
But he was still. Still as death.  
  
'Zidane.........Zidane......please......wake-up.....' whispered Vivi.  
  
Dagger came down the stairs. She rushed to her lovers side.  
  
'Why.........why do you sleep so still?' she asked.  
  
Then she began singing a new song;  
  
My love, why do you sleep so still?  
  
I'll wake you tomorrow  
  
and you will be my fill, yes, you will be my fill.  
  
My love why does it grieve me so?  
  
But your heart seems so silent.  
  
Why do you breathe so low, why do you breathe so low  
  
My love why do you sleep so still?  
  
I'll wake you tomorrow  
  
and you will be my fill, yes, you will be my fill.  
  
My love, you look so cold tonight.  
  
Your lips feel like winter,  
  
your skin has turned to white, your skin has turned to white.  
  
My love, why do you sleep so still?  
  
I'll wake you tomorrow  
  
and you will be my fill, yes, you will be my fill.  
  
My love why does it grieve me so?  
  
But your heart seems so silent.  
  
Why do you breathe so low, why do you breathe so low.  
  
I loved you my love, though in your grave you lie,  
  
I'll always be with you  
  
This rose will never die, this rose will never die.  
  
I loved you my love, though in your grave you lie,  
  
I'll always be with you  
  
This rose will never die, this rose will never die.  
  
She began to sob. Quiet at first, then loud hiccups.  
  
'Zidane......'  
  
He opened his eyes. From his pocket, he drew a ring.  
  
'Queen...........I wish I could get to my knees, but it's a bit difficult......will you marry me?'  
  
'Zidane.......you are not a rich man, how could you affored this?'  
  
'It's called scronging, my love.........will you?'  
  
'Yes....'  
  
With that done, Zidane's body went limp, and his eyes closed.  
  
'ZIDANE!' everyone cried.  
  
THAT IS NOT THE END! The next chapter is, and it's gonna be a very happy one! 


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